5 Polyvagal Tips to Change Your Response to Stress
The nervous system is a key player in how we interact with the world around us. It has a remarkable ability to respond and react in ways that sometimes feel beyond our conscious control. These responses are sometimes patterned or repeated reactions, almost like a memory held in the body.
Because our bodies and nervous systems hold onto trauma and stress, it can lead us to respond to stressful situations in undesirable ways. Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory provides a window of explanation into this phenomenon.
Each of us has an “optimal zone” in which we are able to regulate and maintain flexibility when facing stress, this is called the window of tolerance. The window of tolerance also describes the nervous system’s threshold in which it is able to manage stress; outside of this threshold, we may see those undesirable, repeated responses.
Polyvagal Theory describes three nervous system states in response to stress:
Dorsal vagal state: this is our “freeze” state; the nervous system shuts down in response to stress. For example, not being able to express yourself with words when you’re feeling angry or nervous, or experiencing stage fright.
Sympathetic state: this is our “fight or flight” state; the nervous system responds to what is perceived as dangerous or threatening with aggression, getting verbally defensive, avoiding conflict, or literally running away.
Ventral vagal state: this is our “true self” state, where we feel safe, well-adjusted, and a sense of social ease. We are more open to connecting, learning and collaborating.
Dorsal and ventral vagal responses tend to happen outside of our control, and can sometimes feel like they hinder our ability to connect with ourselves and others. The window of tolerance is the distance between your ventral vagal state (relaxed, true self), and your dorsal or sympathetic states. Sometimes the window of tolerance shrinks as a result of trauma or chronic stress, leading us to go into the first two states more quickly.
Polyvagal Theory can help us categorize our embodied response to stressful situations, as well as widen our window of tolerance. It’s important to remember that each state has a specific developmental purpose and that ultimately all these responses are normal.
Thanks to the flexibility and resilience of our nervous systems, there are ways we can learn how to modify our responses, re-train our reflexes and widen our window of tolerance. Here are five things to keep in mind:
Identify which state you are in: ask yourself in the moment, how each response feels and what are your dominant states. Identifying these states is the first step in reframing your response to stress.
Pay attention to your body’s signals: your nervous system sends messages about what it is responding to. These messages can be very physiological. For example, in a sympathetic state, your heart might be beating fast, you might be sweating, you might have a knot in your stomach. In a dorsal vagal state, you might feel drained, disconnected or numb. Paying attention to these signals and tying them to what might be happening around you can be very helpful in taming the response.
Self-soothing and reassurance: remind yourself that you have been through difficult experiences in the past and that you are strong enough to get through the present experience too. Engage in self-soothing techniques. This can take many forms but visualization is helpful. Imagine that you are with someone you love, or visualize your favourite place. If you have a pet, engage playfully with them, or find a quiet spot in nature to sit and relax.
Connect to the present moment: focus on breathing and being in the moment. Let go of expectations you may have for yourself in the future, while still setting an intention to help you get to where you want to be. When you are experiencing an unpleasant nervous system state, try breathing into it, moving your body, and taking a bit of space for yourself.
Trust the process: continue observing how you move between states, and when you are in your ventral vagal state, make the most of it! Engage with others and be open to the experience of getting to know yourself better. This is the best time to reflect on your experience of other states, as well as develop some self-regulation and co-regulation strategies for the future.
If you are interested in polyvagal-informed therapies, check out our website for more info. We offer services like Safe and Sound Protocol, mindfulness-based therapy, Mindfulness Training for Emotional Regulation workshops, and other somatic therapies that help you become more acquainted with your nervous system.
